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I’ve been having alot on my mind recently

Last time I wrote a blog, it was about getting the supervisor job. Well, come to find out, the dm and a few others who know me rather well are betting against me. It’s my “temper”. They think that once one person pisses me off, the whole day is shot. Usually this is true, but it stems from having a monster of a boss breathing heavily down your neck 24/7. Wouldn’t you get more irritated than usual if you have someone always riding you, especially because you are doing things by the book.

None the less. I have been waiting to hear further instruction on if I either have another interview lines up, or if I completely don’t have the job. It would suck, but as of this point (here comes the temper) I don’t care if I don’t get it. I am ready to start looking for a new job anyway. I really feel I have out grew the company as a whole. Especially since when I was hired back in 2007, the company has changed. They no longer train properly, rush every thing, and cut hours incredibly low. And they pay is never going to get higher than $13.65. I am close to that. That includes if I become a supervisor, getting the same rate of pay. Only thing I could hope for if getting it is the fact my hours don’t get cut as bad as the cashiers. Right now I’m maintaining anywhere between 28-40 hours a week.

In other notes, I have been reading alot. I usually read when I want to get distracted from my life. I have been alot happier. Not as upset about alot of things as much. I don’t bring too much work home with me. But that doesn’t mean I’m never upset. I am pushing the thought of inevitable death further than I have before in my mind. I type or talk about it as if it doesn’t even exist as all. That’s how I want to live. You can say that it is stupid to live thinking that death doesn’t include me. It certainly beats me fearing and curling up in a ball obsessing over the thought.

So far, I have devoured “Delirium” by Lauren Oliver. I picked up the suggestion from Elle Fowler (Youtube beauty guru). I am pretty stoked about it. And little did I know that there is a trilogy. I am not currently on the hunt for “Hana, #1.5” in the Delirium trilogy. It’s inbetween the 1st and 2nd book. I did pick up the second book in the library. I also have in my hands “Crappy to Happy” by Randy Peyser (self help book), “Beastly” By Alex Flinn (the book that the movie “Beastly” is from), “Daughter of Smoke and Bone” by Laini Taylor, and “The girl with the Dragon Tattoo” by Stieg Larsson.

There is no telling if I will actually read all of these books. But since I’ve been devouring whole books between 1-3 days, I shouldn’t have a problem. Also, I’ve started watching the movie “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. It has held my interest so far, and as why I am giving it a go in the reading world. It’s funny, in spring is when I read the most. Any other time of year, I’m going out alot, or just sleeping alot. Depends on if I’m happy or social. If I’m unhappy, I sleep alot more. If I’m more social, I go out alot more. And no matter what, I’m always working. Such a bummer.

I need another vacation.